Recapturing Beauty; Day One

At our Mother-Daughter Night I challenged the Young Women and their mothers to do this challenge aimed at helping women discover their real beauty.  Today the challenge is to express gratitude for the things my body allows me to do.  It's 10-minutes, so no eloquent writing here.

I am grateful for a body that is healthy.  With my body I am able to pick up my children, give them hugs, wipe their tears, look at their beautiful faces.   I was able to have children of my own, and while things certainly didn't go according to plan in that department, I have four girls.

I am able to enjoy beauty all around me.  I love autumn, and I'm grateful I can see it's dramatic changes.  My body made it possible for me to enjoy our trip to southern Utah last week with all it's splendor.

My ears allow me to listen.  I can enjoy beautiful music, the sound of my girls' laughter, Mark's soothing voice.  I am able to listen to the words of prophets.

I can walk and run.  My body has performed for me in races and allowed me to do things I never thought I could do.  I can play the piano.

My mind is also part of my body and I'm so grateful to be able to gather knowledge, read, remember, think through and feel the spirit, because that is often how I receive my inspiration.

 As I try to imagine each day without the use of certain parts of my body, I realize that this body of mine makes my life possible.  This body is wonderful and not to be taken for granted.

Shhh... Be Still

I realize I have not yet posted about my experience at Girls' Camp. I wish I had taken the time back when I returned. It was an unexpectedly overwhelming spiritual experience for me.  I was expecting to have a fun time and feel the spirit a little.  I hadn't expected the almost constant companionship of the spirit for 5 days straight.  It was a beautiful place, where I can honestly say I felt closer to the Lord.  I was fascinated to learn that the missionaries at the camp are not under the mission department of the church, they are part of the temple department.  Not surprisingly, the camp is called the temple on the mountain.  That perfectly describes how I felt for five days-like I was in the temple.

I came back wanting to be a better person and feeling better person than I have felt in too long.  I realized how noisy my life had become, and I had a strong desire to eliminate the noise.  I need to focus on my family and my church calling.  I don't have to do anything that will take me from those things.

But then life happened and things got crazy all over again.

Right now, while on vacation, I have slowed down again, and realized what needs to go.  I can't do it all, and I don't have to do everything the same as everyone else.  I have realized that right now is not the time for me to tackle some big PTA job.  I guess it takes me getting away to get some perspective and adjust my priorities.

I need to quiet my life and decide what is really important to me.  Right now the things that are most important to me are: my family, my home, my own well-being, and my church calling.  Everything else is going to have to take a back seat for awhile.

I am reminded of the scripture: Be still and know that I am God. That's going to be my motto for the next while.

The Right Way

Our Relief Society is reading the Book of Mormon in 100 days.  I admit I got a little behind and have been scrambling to catch up. 

Something I read a few days ago has really stuck with me.  I have been thinking about it a lot. 

In 2 Nephi 25:28-29 "...And the words which I have spoken...are sufficient to teach any man the right way; for the right way is to believe in Christ and deny him not...wherefore ye must bow down before him, and worship him with all your might, mind, and strength, and your whole soul"

For whatever reason these verses have really struck me this time around.  It seems so simplistic, but there really is a right way, and it really is a s simple as believing in Christ and deny him not.  That is what it all boils down to.  Either I believe in Christ or I don't.  If I really believe in Christ, then the rest will follow.

I've been trying to think of ways that I maybe deny Christ.  How am I spending my time?  What shows am I watching?  What music am I listening to? 

I know I have not been worshipping him with my whole soul.  I really like the idea of finding ways to do this.  This week I am really working on scripture study and making my prayers meaningful.  I am also working on my time and how I spend it.  It seems that the times I get down are the times I have slipped in my worship of Christ. 

We Women

My friend, Cheryl, posted this quote, and I have been thinking about it ever since.

 "We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are." — Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I think too often I have too many "important" things I want to do; so many that I never get any of it done. Someone recently told me that no one could accomplish my to-do list-EVER. I need to decide what is important right now and what important things can be done later.

I really need to remember to move along at a comfortable pace for me.  My comfortable pace does not have to match the pace of anyone else.  As long as I am moving in the right direction, my perfectionist-self needs to allow that to be enough.

I love when she says,"We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something."  While sometimes I find myself trying to prove something to someone, usually I am trying to prove something to myself.  I seem to have this perception of how I "should" be or what I "should" do.  Someone once told me to beware of the "shoulds."  It's so true! The "shoulds" can be my downfall.  Often when I am feeling depressed it is because I can't measure up to all of the expectations I place upon myself. 

I have really been trying to be more content this year.  I have mostly been focusing on being content with what I have. I'm so happy about the reminder to be content with who I am. When I have been content with myself is when I have been the happiest.  I want to recognize my own strengths, instead of comparing my weaknesses to the strengths of others.  I want to improve my weaknesses instead of using them to be hard on myself.  

 What I love most about this quote is the idea that simplifying my life needs to begin within my own head and heart. Thanks Sister Hinckley.

9-year-olds and the Old Testament

I teach the 9-year-old class in Primary.  First of all, I love Primary.  I especially love this group because they are all very unique, and they are really getting into the Old Testament.  And so am I.

From a kid's perspective, what's not to love about the Old Testament?  There's death, destruction, trickery, and much more.  I loved their reactions to Lot's wife.  They were imagining what it would have looked like in a movie to be turned into a pillar of salt.  Would she just become a pile of salt that blew away on the wind, or was it more like a statue made of salt?  And why would she look back when an angel told her not to? Duh!

I would dare say that their favorite so far has been the story of Jacob and Esau.  You have to love a story about a smooth brother and a hairy brother.  That week it was all girls, and as we read the account in the scriptures, one by one they all started to giggle.  Then they tried to imagine what Esau looked like.  One girl is sure he looked like the grumpy old troll in Dora the Explorer.  Plus, dressing up in goat skins so your blind father will think you are the hairy brother?  This is spicy stuff!

I have been amazed at how much I have learned about the Old Testament.  Not just the stories, but how they relate to me.  Every week it seems like the message is very personal- something I haven't felt about this book before. I'm disappointed the weeks I've had to get a substitute, because I know I'm missing something good.  I love knowing my calling was indeed inspired.

Right now we are working our way through the story of Joseph, who was sold into Egypt.  Another juicy story.  Then the kids made the most amazing request.  Could we have a party and watch the movie about Joseph?  Well, what do you say to a request like that other than-YES!  Not a Wii party.  Not a water party, but a party to watch a movie about an Old Testament prophet.  What great kids!

Where I Should Be

I don't know if I have mentioned how much I love the Olympics.  This year they are in Vancouver, so I am also loving the Canadian aspect of the games.  Not to mention that today was the gold medal hockey games between the USA and Canada.  Really...I'm talking big time. 

The unfortunate thing is that the game was scheduled to start at 1 pm, and we don't get out of church until 2 pm.  A big deal, probably not, but I really wanted to see the whole game.  I have had sick kids the past couple of weeks, so I was toying with staying home with one of them.  You know...just to be sure they were completely better-the beneficial side-effect being I could watch the game. At the very least, I knew I could slip out of Sharing Time early, under the guise of Gracie needing a nap, and catch the game.  I know, very slick.

Then it started happening this morning.  First, Sarah was blessing the food when she asked that mom would be blessed to make right choices and not go to Satan.  Or at least that's what I thought she said, but upon asking she hadn't said that at all.  A guilty conscience, perhaps?

Lizzie pointed out that we had set it to record, so what was the big deal?  Really, these righteous kids; what am I going to do with them?  Don't answer that.

Then Mark tells me his lesson for Sunday School is on sacrifice.  Need I say more?

Then it turned out to be Ward Conference.  Not the week to slip out and leave your class unsupervised.

THEN one of the High Councilmen pulled me aside before church and asked if he could meet with my husband and me after church.  Can you believe it?  I'm sure, by this point of the story, you can.

So my plan lay in ruins under one of the chapel pews.  But now I am so glad it did.  I was where I needed to be, and the Lord knew I needed a little help to stay there.  I got called to be the Certification Specialist for Girls' Camp.  I'm actually really excited, which I realize is strange for me to say.  I'm excited to go to camp with Lizzie and even more grateful, because she's excited for me to be there with her.  I'm looking forward to meeting some new people and learning some new things.

Plus, I recorded the game and got the chance to watch one of THE BEST hockey games ever.  And Canada won.  Yay!

So after today, I can conclude that Church is where I should be.  And the rest will come together if it should.

Enoch...What's not to love?

So, yesterday, Valentine's Day, I taught a lesson about Enoch.  (Moses 6-7) I can't believe I didn't remember so many cool things about Enoch.  I say "remember" because I hate to think I've gone my whole life not ever knowing them. However, it is entirely possible that Enoch was covered in Sunday School during one of my McDonald's runs as a teenager, or the year I chose not to attend seminary, or during the many years I have served in the Primary.  But I still think I'll stick with "not remembering."

I think the story of Enoch has become one of my all-time favorite scripture stories.  There are so many things I love about it.  Here are a few:

• I love that Enoch didn't think he could do what the Lord asked him to do for so many reasons, but he had faith in the Lord and did it anyway.  It made me think of how inadequate I feel most of the time, and how I need to have more faith.
• I love that his enemies feared him because of the things he said and did.  Like moving mountains, changing the course of rivers.
• I like the part where the Lord wept.  Not that I like the Lord to weep, I like that he felt so much love for those children even though they were wicked, that he felt sorrow and wept for them.  It makes me want to live my life so I don't cause Him sorrow.
• I love that Enoch asked the Lord not to flood the earth again.
• I love that the City of Enoch will join those living in Zion during the Millenium.

Most of all I loved watching my primary class get into the story too. I hope they won't forget about Enoch for as many years as I did. 

Curse or Protection?

I was recently preparing a Primary lesson about Cain and Abel.  It has been such a long time since I really studied the Old Testament, so I was really getting my facts straight.

All my life I have thought that Cain's curse was the mark he carried.  But as I was reading the account in the Pearl of Great Price, I had an "a ha moment."  In Moses 5:36-37 the Lord is telling Cain how he will be cursed.  The Lord says the earth will no longer yield unto Cain her strength.  Cain was told he would be a fugitive and a vagabond. 

Then, in verse 39 Cain told the Lord he feared for his life. Cain feared someone would slay him because of his iniquities.

The Lord then tells Cain,""Whosoever slayeth thee, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold."  The Lord then puts a mark on Cain "lest any finding him should kill him."

What I had always thought was Cain's curse, was really the Lord protecting him.  No matter what Cain had done and what consequences Cain had to face, the Lord still loved him. 

I am always amazed at the limitless love our Heavenly Father has for each of his children. This tells me that no matter what I mistakes I make, the Lord will always be there, even while I am facing the consequences of my decisions. 

Holding Greatness in Your Hands

My friend, Cheryl, posted this on her blog last week and I have been thinking about it ever since.

"Have you ever been in a church meeting where there was NO doubt that the words the speaker were speaking were directed specifically for you? I have had this feeling in the past...but NOTHING like last night. Our stake hosted a women's fireside for all women 18 and older. It was wonderful! All the talks were filled with the spirit, but one in particular pierced my heart.


We have an amazing Stake President. He is so incredibly inspired and I always love his talks, but last night he was talking to ME. He started talking about our children. He asked if we have that ONE child who tries our patience, who if they aren't home the whole house is more peaceful, how sometimes they can drive us crazy with their antics....Then he started telling us about one of his sons (they have 4 boys and 1 girl). This boy was rambunctious, loud, busy, mischievous..and boy howdy did it sound familiar! But then he told us about a terrible accident his son had when he was almost 5 and how it changed his perspective about him and helped him to appreciate him more. He also recalled all the great qualities this boy has...and talked about how he recently received his mission call as well as his patriarchal blessing.

Then he said the line that really affected and changed me, "If you have one of these children...know that you are holding greatness in your hands. They have the potential to change the world."

Now I was sitting on the stand (with the stake YW presidency..I'm the secretary) and I had been crying on and off throughout the fireside (I'm pregnant remember). When he said that I literally had to hold back the sobs and stop the "ugly cry" from coming on. That statement hit me like a ton of bricks.

How grateful I am to have had a complete shift in perspective. I know this about my 3rd son deep down, but sometimes seeing the potential in him gets buried in all the day to day stuff, in the potty accidents, in the drawing on the walls, in the yelling (his..not mine), in the aggression. But I also know this boy has the determination, the energy, the charisma and the personality to change the world. My job is not to change him but find a way to channel all that energy and enthusiasm in the right direction. I have to say I cannot wait to sit in on this boys patriarchal blessing!

Then, last night, at Relief Society a sister was speaking about her children and their different struggles.  She spoke of one of her daughters and how strong willed she is.  Then she said,"Satan really wants to get the strong ones."   Once again, I felt like my prayers were being answered.

Not that all of my girls are not strong, but this one in particular possesses such an amazing and magnetic personality.  She really could change the world because she had a way of drawing people to her.  She has such an amazing heart.  I guess, like Cheryl, I have realized that I need to help her see the potential she has and know deep down what is true and right.

A Beginning

Last Saturday, I attended a Relief Society conference with my mom.  I was eager to spend time with her, but when they announced that the topic would be family history, I wasn't so excited.  I am happy to say I was pleasantly surprised. 

The speaker was Lindsey Powell, a woman who teaches family history in Utah County.  She gave a wonderful and inspiring talk not just about family history, but why we should do it.  She also gave several ideas about how to do family history, not just pedigree charts and PAF files.

One way was what she called a Book of Remembrance.  Not the old long books with posts to keep your genealogy.  She referred to Moses 6:1-7, where it talks about Adam, Seth and Enos keeping a book of remembrance in which they recorded their spiritual insights, much like Nephi did on the small plates. 

She said we should write down our inspired interpretations of principles and doctrines-our gospel understandings.

Since blogging is the only time in my life I have been somewhat consistent in keeping track of things, I thought I should keep my book of remembrance here.  I hope to be able to write down insights I receive, not only for myself, but also for my children.  I want them to know how my testimony grows a little bit here and a little bit there.

To keep myself inspired, here are a couple of quotes:

"When you receive revelation, it is an offense not to write it down."  Richard G. Scott

""Failure to record insights is neglectful."  Joseph Smith